We’re all aware by now that every week brings news of an atrocious crime or suicide committed against or by a nonheterosexual kid for no other reason than the kid in question, sexually speaking, is more inclined to do x than y. Call it a preference or choice or orientation (or the ‘appearance’ of the same thanks to masucline/feminine stereotypes), it really doesn’t matter: the bottom line is that these kids (along with a number of adults, it’s not like it’s any less bad when it happens to someone “older”) are getting taunted and bullied and punched and cut and shot and kidnapped and tortured for no other reason than merely existing and wanting to have sex or “mess around,” which (i.e., the having-sex or messing-around part) I think we can all agree is hardwired into our fundamental nature and anyone who tries to say otherwise is not playing with a full deck, even if they’re a “celibate” priest or something (and we all know how that goes.) Incredibly enough, this abuse has been going on for hundreds of years now with very little interference from the “authorities,” mostly because nonheterosexuals are and always have been (and probably always will be) technically speaking a numerical minority and thus lack the kind of political firepower to change things without relying on the beneficence of the numerical majority, or at least some portion thereof, and while our government was basically designed from the start to protect minorities from the “tyranny” of the majority (that’s why we have a court system and representational government, etc etc, which may eventually work out for the gays but at the moment it’s kind of crawling along at best, which in any case isn’t much use to a kid getting his face punched in). But right now, due to said crimes/suicides and the resulting “public outcry,” we have perhaps been offered what might be considered the thinnest silver lining to the darkest of clouds, or a “teachable moment” in which people who might otherwise be ambivalent are inclined to think to themselves, “damn, that kid probably didn’t deserve to die” and they might even take it a step further and think, “hmm, I know some people who are gay and I consider them sort of decent I guess, or at least they don’t deserve to get the shit beat out of them or die a gruesome death,” or they might even be in a position where they’re related to someone who’s gay and would thus feel very much aggrieved if this person whom they possibly love was ripped from their existence by a bunch of thugs (some portion of whom, not incidentally, are almost certainly fantasizing in the dark hours of the night about doing the same exact things for which they are torturing their victims, such is the horribly twisted psychology of the past 100-200 years or so). So what to do: for starters, a bunch of prominent nonhetesexuals are making videos about how “it gets better” for gays as we age and ideally find a safer spot in the world, which great, may actually help some kids who are currently in a dark place, so to speak, so I’m certainly not about to malign that kind of effort. What I’d like to do here, though, is perhaps cast a wider net and consider what nonhomosexuals who are so inclined might do to “increase their awareness of a bad situation” with a thought to help prevent bullshit atrocities going forward (to the extent possibly; obviously we’re in a very deep hole and it’s not something you can crawl out of in a day). After all, as we’ve already pointed out, and there’s really no point in arguing about this, it’s a fact, gay people have straight parents as a rule (with some exceptions obviously, but biologically speaking, you know what I’m saying) these kids are YOUR sons and daughters headed to the gallows, there’s no guarantee you’re going to have straight kids, and if you think otherwise, there’s some prominent Republican politicians I’d like you to meet. Okay, let’s get slightly more specific here, and address the many straight politicians (and particularly U.S. senators and representative) who read this blog, not to mention everyone in Albany and all the state capitals (LOL) and whoever else might hold elected/appointed office: what the fuck are you waiting for? Why haven’t you passed legislation that will give nonheterosexuals (or for that matter ANY two people) the same rights as nonhomosexuals? Marriage, civil unions, hospital visitation, tax code bullshit and all the rest of the 836 things that need to be changed: just do it. And look, I’m not going to pretend that I would ever in a million years want to lay down my life for our stupid county, but that’s no reason to keep all gays out of the military. Oh, you’re worried about the moral of the troops? You’re worried that I might check out some guy’s package in the showers? Tell that to your son or daughter as he or she is getting his or her ribs broken by some bully at the high school because he or she is gay. Okay, politicians are easy: you know what to do, start cracking. Religious leaders, you’re next: what the fuck are you waiting for? Have you talked to your congregations about this issue? Why not? Are you worried about homosexuality fraying the moral fabric of this country? The bible says it’s wrong? Oh really? Is it worse to love someone in a nonheterosexual relaish than to send them to the gallows, because that’s what you’re doing, you are effectively executing kids (by which I mean your kids, your offspring) by living with the status quo, or fighting to preserve it. Oh and by the way, let’s stop framing everything in terms of “love,” because nonheterosexuality, just like nonhomosexuality, has a lot to do with sex and pleasure, which we’ve already agreed the pursuit of which is something that’s hardwired into us and there’s no getting around it, sorry religious extremists) and specifically means that gays may probably like to ___ and ___ and ___ (just like straight people, obviously), for the purpose of capturing a few seconds of “feeling good,” with the only difference being that in no circumstances will said acts lead to the conception of another human being (which if you think about it is kind of awesome.) Okay, but seriously, politicians and religious people are easy: let’s talk about teachers and educators and really anyone that has anything to do with a school. You guys are inherently intelligent, well-read people who are interested in creating a better-educated populace to follow your generation: in short, you are optimists, you believe that the future should be better than the past. But if that’s the case, are you making an effort to discuss nonheterosexual men and women who have made contributions to whatever field it is that you teach in? Because if you’re not, you might as well be signing the death warrant for your own child, it’s that simple, sorry. This applies to all teachers, obviously, but for those in the literature and the arts, it should be a slam dunk, because the arts are filled with social outsiders, many of whom are also gay (and that’s not exactly an accident, but it shouldn’t be understood to mean that there are no gays outside of the arts, either, because that’s a stereotype that really doesn’t fly once you start looking around the real world. Here’s a short story: I have an ex-friend (who incidentally is non-white, ethnically speaking, which I mention only because there’s often a hope that one minority will understand the plight of another, although this regrettably has not often proven to be the case with regard to the gays) who teaches at an ‘advanced’ high school but who told me a few years ago when I last had the displeasure of seeing him that his students (sophomores and juniors) were ‘not ready’ to discuss nonheterosexual themes in literature. Oh really? Are they ready to have their teeth kicked in, because that’s what you’re teaching them (albeit implicitly) is acceptable behavior. I know in my case, I read a lot of books in high school (in courses, not just because I happened to pick them up) written by African American authors with the intent of bringing to light the fact that our country has long had a serious fucking problem with racism and one btw that obviously continues today (President Obama notwithstanding) and (the reading and discussion) instilled in me an awareness of this problem at a young age, so I didn’t feel comfortable “judging ppl by the color of their skin” which is not to say I’m not racist, we all are, it’s a fact of life in this county and all you can do is try to minimize the impact every single day when you encounter it. Which is no different than homophobia, obv: we’re all homophobic to greater or lesser degrees, and the best you can hope for is to recognize a homophobic thought or impulse and say to yourself, “I’m not giving in to this irrational bullshit, because that’s not the kind of person I want to be.” I’m sure you know what I mean if you’ve gotten this far in the blog post. But moving along, let’s see: oh, you work in advertising or marketing? Here’s a question: Why the fuck are there no gay people in your ads? Oh, you don’t want to offend mainstream America? Tell that to your son as some thug pries open his mouth and pours lighter fluid down his throat followed by a lit match and see how your argument flies then. Ditto for the Hollywood producers who never use gay characters in your movies or at best continue to go for cheap, stupid laffs at the expense of dumb stereotypes because it’s guaranteed ‘revenue’ or whatever else drives the cultural machine. Hollywood, you are disgusting, get your act together. Or not, it just means that your children are going to be swinging in the wind that much longer, their necks rubbed raw from the nooses tied around them by you, their homophobic parents. Oh and here’s a note to my fellow authors who are nonhomosexual: have you included gay characters in your books? Oh it makes you nervous? Does it make you more nervous than watching your daughter get dragged around on the streets tied to the back of a car, her feet roped together as her skin burns off in great chunks against the pavement as the life drains out of her? Because that’s what happens when nobody includes gay characters in their books, and if you’re not part of the solution, so to speak, you’re part of the problem. Yes, it’s a cliche, but it’s true. The same goes for all of the awards committees: when’s the last time you honored a book with a gay character in it? Really, ten or twelve years ago? That’s pretty good, considering that for many of you, the answer is not once. Which is okay if you want to see video footage of your son getting his eyeballs flicked out because he was discovered kissing another boy behind the school gymnasium; really, it’s your choice. And as for those of you who are watching television and movies and reading books or the internet, seriously, I want you to stop and think about what you’re doing here, and ask if you’re perhaps unconsciously buying into the bullshit stereotypes that have without exception been forced down our throats from day one by the entertainment/media complex in this country. Are you reading books and watching movies where gay people actually say, are falling in love and making out and breaking up and otherwise (explicitly) engaging in the kind of dramz that make up 99 percent of every story ever told? Really, you are? Tell me, right now, which ones you’ve seen/read, because I want to know about them, too. Because if you’re not reading/watching and talking about these movies/films/books (and I’m not saying every one has to be great, because that’s not the way art works), you’re tacitly endorsing a situation where some kid ends up blowing his brains out in the basement because he realizes he wants to kiss another boy and has never seen it happen on prime-time television, which okay, maybe it’s happened a few times, but I can assure you that the 0.000000000001 percent ratio of homosexual/heterosexual acts and relaishes depicted on television/movies/advertising is not even close to what exists in the real world, which raises the question of not only why, but also what you’re doing to change that. Which reminds me: professional sports, you’re next: okay, seriously, what the fuck? How much longer do you really think this can go on, where you pretend that gay people don’t even fucking exist, when we all know that there are gays in every corner of the world, from the locker rooms of the Super Bowl to the inner sanctums of the Church of the Latter Day Saints, this is not something to be argued about, it’s a fact. Granted, only a few professionals have had the balls to “come out,” but have you made that a part of your story, is that something you honor and discuss? I don’t think so. But whatever, no big deal, it just means that your son’s lips are going to be sliced off by some thug who thinks it’s okay to torture people because they’re gay. Bankers, lawyers, doctors, I don’t have much to add here, you all have big-ticket educations, I’m sure you can draw the parallels to your own situations and act accordingly. But seriously, get your fucking act together, it’s time. As for the “blue-collar” folks, all of you who are basically scraping out an existence (or maybe not, if you’re fortunate enough to be in a strong union), you should at least know what it’s like to be playing at a disadvantage, because there’s no question that if money is a game, you’ve been taken to the cleaners these past four-five decades and let me assure you that times have never been better for the richest 1 percent. Which I don’t bring up to talk about jobs or the economy, so much as to say that you should have an understanding as to what it’s like to lose ground, to feel like you’re slipping away, to be dependent on the government to protect you from forces beyond your control. Which is kind of what it’s like to be gay, right? You know a lot of people out there would just as soon send you to the ovens without a second thought, and it’s that kind of attitude that seeps down into situations where gay people are getting obliterated, it’s not complicated to understand why, it just means that you have to stop “enabling” or “endorsing” (even tacitly) this kind of sick behavior, because I don’t care what you do, whether you’re welding or constructing or pouring cement, your kids have just as good a chance of being gay as anyone else’s. Which brings me to my final and most general group: parents, and particularly the reproductively oriented kind. Seriously, you guys need to wake up and stop assuming that your kids are straight, because they’re not. Even if your son is captain of the football team and your daughter wears pink dresses, it doesn’t mean anything in terms of what they’re dreaming about on the sex front, so quit assuming. And moreover, stop telling your kids that ‘it’s okay if you’re gay,” or “I’ll still love you if you’re gay” and instead tell them that “it’s fucking awesome if you’re gay — in fact I hope you’re gay, I want you to be gay — because I’m straight and you know what, my life hasn’t exactly been a bed of roses.” Okay, I’ll STFU now, but let’s all take a deep breath and pause for a moment to consider exactly what we’re going to do starting NOW to send the old way of doing things packing and usher in the new with a warm hug and a big, sloppy kiss, because we need you, we’ve been waiting for u a long time.
