Last night I went to The Awl’s holiday bash at a bar in the East Village. It was a lot of fun: I mingled and gossiped about __ and ___ and remarked many times how strange it is to meet people IRL who you follow on-line because you tend to know a lot more about them than you might think, given that you’ve only seen them once or twice in the past year. Like you might say: ‘I’m sorry to hear about the fight you had with your boss,’ or ‘How’s the ankle feeling?’ Anyway, I was talking to this guy I’ve known for several years now online but was meeting in person for the first time; at some point, he mentioned how he had just seen the George Washington Bridge up close recently. “It was amazing,” he said, “it was just like [garbled word, lost in the sound of the bar] sitting on my face!” “What did you say!?” I asked, after which he explained for a second time how he had just visited the GWB in person and how “amazing it was to stand underneath it, like [same garbled word] was sitting on my face!” Not wanting to be be needlessly intrusive, I LOL’d politely and decided to abandon the issue of the garbled word; we spent a few more minutes chatting aimlessly and — in the way of crowded parties — drifted apart shortly thereafter.
I made my way over to my friend J___ and explained the mystery of the garbled word. “What do you think was sitting on his face?” she asked, and after some heated speculation, we were both at a loss. But then the guy in question happened to wander past and I drew him into the conversation, explaining that J___ also lived uptown and was a big fan of the GWB. We spent a few minutes comparing the merits of different bridges in the city, until eventually the conversation turned to the subject of the guy’s recent visit to the GWB. “What did you think of it?” asked J___, and in response he explained his surprise at how massive it was, especially when you stood right under it. ‘How exactly did you feel standing under it?’ J___ (who admitted to being a lil drunk) pressed, to which he responded with another answer that did not include the sitting-on-his-face metaphor. It was too much for J___, who said: ‘Matt told us that you compared the GWB to something sitting on your face. WHAT WAS IT!’ after which he laughed and answered. ‘OMG WHAT IS THAT?’ J___ yelled and the guy answered that it was some sort of massive, mythological creature (I think that’s what he said; I’m still a bit fuzzy about all of this.) We all laughed and ate some cookies and spinach dip that a few of the other guests had kindly brought. All in all, it was a good night, a night where misunderstandings led to hilarity instead of hurt feelings.
‘I guess u had to be there.’ — Elektra
